The first day of nursery school brings many emotions. Your child is starting a new stage in their life and, as a parent, you want to do the best you can. Knowing how to deal with the first day of nursery will help you stay calm, avoid any surprises, and make your little one feel secure. At our British school in Madrid (International School of Madrid), we offer you the most effective tips to help you and your child go through this transition with peace of mind and confidence. Take note!
Why the First Day at Nursery Matters
The first day at nursery is far more than a date on the calendar it sets the tone for how your child will perceive this new environment. A positive start makes a lasting difference in their ability to adapt and relate to teachers and classmates.
Conversely, showing calmness and confidence helps your child feel safe and ready to engage with their new surroundings. This milestone also affects family routines, requiring new schedules and emotional adjustments understanding this dual impact will make the day more manageable.
Emotional Preparation for the First Day of Nursery
Preparation is key to ensuring your child’s first day is as smooth and positive as possible. Anticipating the situation and addressing emotions together makes a huge difference.
Talk About Nursery with Enthusiasm and Honesty
Start talking about nursery a few days or weeks in advance. Use positive, cheerful language, highlighting fun activities and the chance to make new friends. Explain what will happen using simple, age-appropriate words, focusing on exciting aspects like playing, painting or story time.
Answer questions honestly and reassure your child that you’ll come back to pick them up at the end of the day this consistency builds trust. Mention specific activities and the opportunity to socialise, making the experience sound engaging and familiar.
Visit the Nursery to Familiarise Your Child with the Environment
If possible, visit the nursery together before the first day. Explore the classroom, play area and bathroom. Meeting the teachers and seeing other children at play helps reduce uncertainty. You might even take a few photos to look at together later at home.
Becoming familiar with the setting and people in advance reduces anxiety and makes the environment feel safer. This kind of exposure allows your child to adjust at their own pace and begin to see nursery as a friendly, secure and enjoyable place.
Use Role Play and Storybooks to Prepare
Play is a powerful tool for emotional preparation. Role-play simple nursery routines saying goodbye in the morning and greeting each other at pick-up time.
Read stories about going to nursery or starting school. These help children understand what to expect through familiar narratives and relatable characters. Role play and storybooks create a safe framework for processing new experiences and emotions.
Practical Preparation for the First Day
In addition to emotional readiness, practical organisation is equally important for a stress-free start.
What to Bring on the First Day (By Age)
Your child’s bag should contain everything they need for the day, depending on their age.
For babies (0–12 months):
- 2–3 full changes of weather-appropriate clothing
- Enough nappies (roughly one every 2–3 hours plus a couple extra)
- Wet wipes and nappy cream
- Labelled bottles
- Breast milk or formula
- Dummy (if used) with a holder
- Comfort object (blanket or soft toy)
- Sheet for cot (if required by the nursery)
For toddlers (1–2 years):
- 2–3 changes of easy-to-wear clothing
- Nappies or training pants as appropriate
- Comfortable, secure shoes
- Labelled cup or beaker
- Bibs for meals
- Comfort object
- Nap items as advised by the nursery
For preschoolers (3+ years):
- 1–2 full changes of clothes
- Extra underwear and socks
- Outdoor-friendly shoes
- Labelled reusable water bottle
- Lunch and snack (if required)
- Nap or quiet-time items if applicable
Label all items with your child’s name, including clothing, shoes, bottles, and any other items. This precaution will prevent loss and confusion, especially in large groups.
Check in advance if the centre has specific requirements about what should or should not be brought. Some centres have particular policies regarding food, toys from home, or other items.
Establish a Calm and Organised Morning Routine
A peaceful morning sets the tone for the day. Prepare as much as possible the night before clothes, bag, lunch and keep a checklist handy. This reduces last-minute stress and helps everyone start the day calmly.
Wake your child gently and allow enough time to get ready. Begin the morning with encouragement and positivity.
Managing Parental Anxiety About Nursery
Adaptation isn’t just for the child parents go through their own emotional adjustment, too. Managing your feelings is vital to supporting your child’s.
Acknowledge and Manage Your Own Emotions
It’s completely normal to feel anxious, sad or even guilty when leaving your child at nursery. Recognise that these feelings are shared by many parents and are temporary. Talking with your partner, friends or other parents can provide reassurance and perspective.
Validating your own emotions is the first step towards managing them effectively.
Build Trust in the Nursery Staff
Trust that the nursery educators are qualified, experienced professionals who guide children through this transition every year. They have strategies in place to make the adaptation process smooth.
Establish open communication with the staff from the beginning. Share details about your child’s personality, routines or preferences, and ask how you’ll receive updates during the day. This partnership will help you feel confident that your child is in good hands.
Seek Support from Other Parents
Connect with other parents to gain support and share experiences. Discussing concerns and advice with people who fully understand the situation provides practical guidance.
Connect with other parents to gain support and share experiences. Discussing concerns and advice with people who fully understand the situation provides practical guidance.
Handling the First Hours at Nursery
The goodbye moment can be emotional but with the right approach, it can be made easier for both you and your child.
The farewell ritual: brief, affectionate and consistent
Develop a special, short goodbye routine. It could be a big hug, a kiss, a special handshake, or a reassuring phrase that you always repeat. The consistency of this ritual helps your child anticipate and understand the separation.
A consistent and loving goodbye ritual provides comfort and predictability, making the child feel more secure. Rituals provide a sense of familiarity, especially during times of change. A predictable routine signals that it is time to say goodbye in a loving way.
Why avoid prolonged goodbyes or running away
Goodbyes should be brief and clear. Prolonging the moment increases the child’s anxiety, as they interpret the separation as something worrying.
Never leave without saying goodbye (running away). Although it may seem easier in the moment, it causes distress and erodes trust when the child realises you are gone. Always say goodbye and let them know when you will be back. A clear and concise goodbye, along with the promise to return, helps your child understand the situation and feel more secure.
Project Calm and Confidence
Children immediately pick up on your emotions. When saying goodbye, your anxiety or unease will be reflected in how your little one perceives the nursery. Therefore, adopt a calm and confident attitude, regardless of how you feel inside. Your body language, tone of voice and facial expression communicate more than any words. By appearing calm, you send a clear message: ‘This place is safe and everything will be fine.’
This emotional security you project becomes the best gift for your child: you offer them a model of how to face new situations with confidence, laying the foundations for their successful adaptation.
What to expect on the first day of nursery
Setting realistic expectations helps everyone. Understanding typical reactions and routines allows you to respond calmly and confidently.
Common Emotional Reactions and How to Respond
The first day provokes different reactions: some children show enthusiasm while others express fear or sadness. Crying during goodbyes indicates adaptation to separation.
Validate these feelings without minimising them: ‘I understand that you’re scared, it’s normal in new places.’ Reassure them firmly that you will return, always keeping this promise to build their trust.
Likewise, trust experienced educators to handle these initial emotions. Although it may be difficult for you, remember that most children quickly calm down after you leave, integrating into activities once the professionals capture their attention.
Typical activities by age
Routines vary according to age:
- Babies: tummy time, feeding, nappy changes, songs, stories, naps, sensory play, individual exploration.
- Toddlers (1–3 years): free play, circle time, snack, outdoor play, lunch, sensory or art activities, nap and group play.
- Preschoolers (3–5 years): circle time, activity stations, snack, outdoor play, early literacy and maths projects, lunch, art, stories, nap or quiet time, and group games.
The Importance of Open Communication with Staff
Establece desde el inicio un diálogo fluido con los educadores, compartiendo en la entrega detalles relevantes sobre tu hijo (cómo ha dormido, necesidades especiales) y preguntando acerca de su día al recogerlo.
Find out about the communication channels used by the centre (apps, reports) to stay connected. This ongoing collaboration creates a consistent environment between home and nursery, which makes it easier for your child to adapt and allows any issues that arise to be addressed.
We hope you find this guide useful. Facing this moment with information and preparation makes a positive difference. Remember that patience and communication are your best allies. Knowing how to deal with the first day of nursery is a process that you build together, step by step, towards a stage full of growth and discoveries for your child. Good luck in this new stage!
References:
- Bilich, K. A. (2023, agosto 10). First Day of Preschool Tips: Overcoming Separation Anxiety and More. Parents. https:// parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/starting-preschool/separation-anxiety/overcoming-separation-anxiety/
- Calix, T. (s.f.). Navigating the Transition: 7 Ways Parents Can Cope with Sending Their Child to Daycare for the First Time. Hyde Park Play School. https:// hydeparkplayschool.com/navigating-the-transition-7-ways-parents-can-cope-with-sending-their-child-to-daycare-for-the-first-time/#
- Cedeno, A. (2024, agosto 14). Consejos para un primer día de guardería feliz. Growing Seeds Learning Academy. https:// gsl.academy/es/consejos-para-un-primer-dia-de-guarderia-feliz/
- Oshkosh Community YMCA. (2024, agosto 19). Starting Daycare: Tips for First-Time Parents. https:// oshkoshymca.org/blog/starting-daycare-tips-first-time-parents
- Purdy, J. (2022, abril 15). How To Prepare Parents For The First Day. Jackrabbit Care. https:// jackrabbitcare.com/blog/how-to-prepare-parents-for-the-first-day/
